UGGHH.  IM HAVING A FRAGGIN FRAG WITHDRAWL…

I’m MOVING to a SUPER SICK COMMAND CENTER disguized as a SUPER SICK BACHELOR PAD LOFT DOWNTOWN.  Little will NUBZ know, that THAT COOL BILLIONAIR PLAYBOY LOOKING SUPER AWESOME GUY (ME) IS ACTUALLY THE ONE PWNIN THEIR MOMS NIGHTLY AND MAKING THEM CRY IN CALL OF DUTY.

But it SUX, cause I DONT HAVE FUCKIN INTERNETZ YET.  AND COMCAST IS ALL BEING SUPER GAY.  AND DSL CAN SUCK MY NUTS. ANYWAYZ, I have to hit this to you from work.  MY LIFEFORCE IS WEAK.  NEED TO PWN…

=JOHNNY SALAM1=

It’s time to leave nuburn for the summer and go back to pwnville. | hope u nubberflies realize that this means 2wice the pwning is going to occur!

φritty φwny

| propose we make our own internet service Johnny. One that is for pwners only, obviz. And we won’t hassle every1 that joins by asking them all the time if they want to bundle for the effing fone package! NO | DON’T. Hey Charter are you having another “scheduled outage”? You can stick youre nub bandwidth down ur face hole!

φritty φwny

So, I’M FRAGGIN TIRED of FRAGGIN COMCAST, bein all like “HEY WE DON’T GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU PAY FOR.  OUR SERVICE DEPARTMENT IS A BUNCH OF BABIES AND THEY HAVEN’T EVEN FINISHED THE FIRST SEASON OF BLUES CLUES YET.  OUR INSTALLERS ARE STILL STUCK ON SEASAMIE STREET.  AND OUR EXECUTIVES ALL HAIL FROM THE NUB BEFORE TIME.

FR SRSLY!  NUBBLE FOOT is takin all my moneyz, promising i can PWN LIKE A PWN HOUND, but in turn giving me service that is comparable to the way PRINCESS PEACH SERVES MARIO.  IE. SHE DOESN’T….

i wait daily to see those NUBCAST NUBz on 1v1 phatom slayer rockets…

1 day…

=JOHNNY SALAM1=

Map HAXORZ CAN SUCK MY BIG FAT FIGHTSTICK FRANKIN NUBZ!!

FER SRSLY.. these NUB-2000’S thnk it makes them “kewl” to SEE THE WHOLE FRAGGIN MAP THE WHOLE GAME to try and pwn me and PWNY.  I JUST LAUGH as even tho I USE  a HAX to INCREASE THE FOG OF WAR so that I CAN SEE LESS OF THE MAP THAN ANYBODY ELSE CUZ OTHERWISE ITS JUST TO EASY.

So i actually dont even care about MAPHAXORS, but think BLIZZARD SHOULD GET OFF IT’S BUTTPLUG MADE OF PURE MONEY, and keep the game RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS WHOLE BABY BULLSHIT WOW PILE OF NUB-SHIT pure as the fresh steam that flows through the gates of EDEN. but no they are just NUBTARDED NOW and only care about stickng another QUARTER UP THEIR ASS TO PRETEND LIKE THEIR MOMMY LIKES THEM STILL.

STARCRAFT 2 BETTER NOT SUCK BLIZZARD.  OR I WILL HUNT YOU ALL DOWN AND DEMAND TO SEE THE CONTRACT BETWEEN YOU AND THE NUB-FAIRY…

=JOHNNY SALAM1=

|’ve found a flaw in Left 4 dead. It took me a while to figure it out cause | was too busy with me 24/7 pwnathon.

Let me start with the obvious—-|’m handz down one of the top pwnerz ever. But on L4D | have to depend on the other 3 nubzinskis on my team to keep from getting overwhelmed by the 4 n00bs on the other team. Talk about N00b overkill 0.o !!! So by doing simple math my 1337 status is dropped to 1/4 (25%) of what it use to be.

So right now you’re saying to yourself “But pwny, you still curbstomp all opposition!” Well you’re right. Samson too was able to pwn nubz when his hair was cut! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

φritty φwny

YEA PWNY,

WE’RE TOO GOOD AT PWNING SO WE GOTTA MAKE OUR OWN GAMEZ.

Roflz!!! It’s liek it just makes SENSE YOU FRAGGIN NUBGANS FROM THE PLANET NUBOO.  GO NUB NUB BINKS YOURSELF.

=JOHNNY SALAM1=

So | recently got @dobe fl@sh. Looks like |’ll be able to make some pwntastic gamez. Peeps will be like “how do you know this map so well pritty pwny!?” and |’ll before | kick them |’ll be like “| made this game Joe Nubtana!” And that also means | can decide when and where | win NO MATTER WHAT.

As if | don’t already do that, on every game |’ve ever played.

φritty φwny

SO NO DOY JOHNNY!  am I RIGHT??

I FRAGGGIN had to go BUY ANOTHER COPY OF WARCRAFT 3: REIGN OF CHAOS the other day…

I’M getting TIRED OF THE BLIZZARD (NOW ACTIVISION/BLIZZARD) SPIES COMING INTO MY HOUSE AND STEALING MY WAR 3 CDS MAKING ME HAVE TO GO BUY NEW ONES…

SERIOUSLY, I have no less than TEN FRAGGIN CD KEYS, BUT NO FRAGGIN CD.  IT’S UNBELIEVABLE.  FIRST THEY STEAL MY MONEY VIA WORLD OF NUBCRAFT.  AND IN THIS TIGHT ECONOMY THEY’VE SUBMITTED THEMSELVES TO PETTY THEFT.

IF THEY NEED MORE MONEY JUST GO FIND A FUCKING EXPO YOU RAIDERS NUBZ.

=JOHNNY SALAM1=

A new final fantasy is on its way to the states but they don’t know when. It’s too bad the n00benese get first dibs because “they made it”. That’s their way of getting back at us for winning WWII. Typical.

There’s only singleplayer, and no multiplayer. It’s goingto be a difficult change when | can’t hear nubs whining about how badly they are GETTIN PWNED. No more “pritty pwny, quit teamkilling for the jet!” Cram it tinkernub! Maybe |’ll play a recording of all the nubs QQ-ing in the background so it’s more realistic!

φritty φwny